Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
