cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
