maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
