Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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