Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
