whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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