dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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