Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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