Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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