Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
