Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
