1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
