I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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