i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
so much tequila, so little girl.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize