You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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