people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
