Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize