I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
