i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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