I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
