I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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