I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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