if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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