you win again, gameday.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We're too hungover to prance.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
