My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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