So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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