i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
