I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
