what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
