after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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