Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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