TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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