So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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