She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize