My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
This house was built for laser tag.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
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