She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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