There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
