Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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