2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
