margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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