I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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