why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
