Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
