were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
