Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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