just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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