Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
