Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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