I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
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so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
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The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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