suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize