hotel room ftw
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
