don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
