whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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