why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Operation Purity has been aborted
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
