I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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