i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I cut my penus on the lid.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize