Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
