I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize